Passing on weigh in tomorow

Well seen as Ive lost the plot with the whole weight thing this week, I am passing on the weigh in tomorow, call it a cop out, it is, but my hubby is coming home after 3 weeks away and he will tell me how I look anyway:) So one pass in about, hmmm, 16months of this shit won't kill me huh!!!

so Im chickening out!!

16months so far on trying to get thinner, that means I have lost 800grams per month, 200grams a week. Is that right?? My god, that is pathetic.

scary weigh in tomorow!!!!

mmm hmmmm, scary I thinks, I was 67.8kilos...oh noooos thats UP 300grams!!!!!!
This isn't good is it???? Oh noooooooooooooooos Seee just when I think Im doing well and being cocky saying I have only 2.5kilos till 65kilos,,,this shit happens!!!

Now I don't want to weigh in!!! Just kidding...I am happy even with that weight cause it is a loss after all....and surely its only a matter of time to hit the 66's.........jumping for joy on that day!!!!! I give myself 2 more weeks at a minimum to get there!!!! It has helped that I have had a little bit of anxiety too tho...

My hubby is away and I am smaller and I like it, he will be in for a pleasent surprise I hope!!! I can focus a lot better when he isn't home!!!! Silly hey!

I have noticed something in myself tho, when ever I put a time limit, or a plan for a diet, or something of the like I always fuck it up and sabotage?? Is this cause I fear failure?? Like for eg, I wanted to lose the 2kilos b4 hubby got back, I went well for a while and then bang- fucked it up!!! I do this constanly, I like the way Im going now, no pressure for results, just doing one day at a time...

till tomorow:)