Im a bore right?

There is a growing trend in Bloggerland that not many comments are being left, this is so cause I feel I am

1-posting to myself
2-Im boring
3-Ive pissed people off
4-Im not really fat and disgusting and people can't laugh at me anymore
5-people don't like me anymore

I, like everyone, love to recieve comments, then at least you know you are not wasting your time, or blabbering to nobody. I guess Im not whinging enough about hating myself anymore, I don't show much of myself, I don't have an intersting job, I don't have a fabulous social life, Im basically not intersting!! And I don't talk about sex, now theres something that will send my comments up!!!lol I get about 20 people looking at this blog per day...what!!!! It's not worth me posting!!! And on my other one I get around 50, now I must be a pathetic bore, good thing I have thick skin!!!

Its amazing how 'friends' come and go on here.

Nah, Im taking the piss outta myself, it is just interesting to see what people comment on.

Anyway enough of that, I like having a blog that is nearly 'secret'!!! I could say anything!!! *winks*

Sooooo, Im skinny* now and I feel ok saying that, I walk up the stairs at Tafe and I can see that I look smaller in the window as Im walking up, my legs are thin and my overall frame has gotten smaller. Great! I was the smallest weight this morning that I have been in 10 yars and my god, it feels fucking great!!!! My goal of 65kilos is just around the corner and I could even go a little smaller??? I don't look gaunt or horribubble, I still have a big tummy, but after 4 whopping children I can and will use that as an excuse, so there!

I have seen many people say, 'oh thats just an excuse that a fat and lazy woman uses' well, no, in fact, Ive lost 14kilos and although I look OK, I still have the same stretched, grose, flabby, tummy and I hate it with a passion, but Im coming to accept it, so thats gotta be good right?

So sorry if Im a boring old housewife, but I'll keep posting I guess.:)

*betta just say, Im skinny in my own mind, no doubt thats debatable to all you skinny minny's out there, but I feel skinny to myself, cause you know I was a fat hefa at nearly 82kilos!!!!!!

deleted the last post

It was all wrong, and Ive gone over in points...surprise surprise for the fatty!!!lol
Im blaming hormones, I can right?? Ha! Back into it tomorow, being outta the house and all for the day, so easy for me to keep on track when Im not bored shitless at home..Im a bored housewife...very bored.

I am really tired today and I get a headache everyday cause of the heat...yuck...I actually tried to have a lie down on the lounge, but as usual, the minute I relax the bloody phone rings, this is why I don't rest during the day.. that happens EVERY time I try and rest, go figure, mothers are not meant to stop during the day!!!

I hate exercise again. it didn't take much hey, those who know my history, of weightloss and gain...I HATE it with a passion, if I loved it like I hate it I would be one fit woman:) I love bikeriding tho, but with hubby away I can't go out and ride...he is back for the weekend and first on the list is a ride!!!!! I can't wait. I have realized I have not done anything for 3 weeks, just the odd weights and sit ups and push ups, is it any wonder I am stuck at the weight I am??? Ummm NO. Move and ye shall lose weight:)

I know this shit, so I refuse to complain and hate on my fat self. I am armed with all the info I need so go forth fat ass and do it:)...*smiles*

Just to Humiliate myself a bit more- OH and Get a bucket, you are gonna need one!!!!

Photo #1 -1/1/07.................................................................................Photo#2- 1/1/08

Well yes, I have come a long way in One year!! O...M...G... Gawd, just with the hair alone!!!!! LOL!!

Now that, my dear friends is fucking grose and disgusting and just plain yuk!!!!

This is what Im talking about, only me in this post and the biggest loser in the last post. No one in bloggerland, I know a lot of lovely ladies that are battling the weight and I am NOT aiming anything at you guys OK! I can't say that enough

The Biggest Loser is loser TV

I cannot get into The Biggest Loser this year, now I know I will be shot down for saying this but they all make me sick!! They are sad to me, dare I say disgusting??? How can they let themselves get so big??? Im cringing at my 3kilos or so to go. Now I mean no disrespect to anyone out there, I myself have been huge, I have obese family members, so I know I should be more considerate, but Im really only speaking of the Biggest Loser, I can't warm to any of them, I don't like one person on there?? Except for Shannan, of course, and Michelles body is to die for and so is Jillians:) But that Shannan, MMMMMmmmmmm!!!!!

Again, I mean NO DISRESPECT to anyone, I am merely making a post on my blog, probably because I am feeling quite angry about different things at the moment, and I tend to say awful things, but really, lose the weight, I would be humiliated even going on that show, for the world to see what I had done to my body?? Stuffed it til it burst...grose...The women are that distorted, just ugly, and I have been there, I remember saying to my mum that I was getting ugly as I was getting older, little did I know it was all the FAT on my face and body...distortion. eeewwww. Not that Im claiming to be a beauty, but you know what Im saying yes?

So Im sorry if I have offended anyone, I don't mean to, Im not going to watch it for a while, they just look like fat, lazy, know they eat the wrong thing, and tooooo much of it kind of people. And I know this cause I speak from experience of seeing people in my OWN family like them.

The thing I remember vividly is hauling my fat self around and being unfit and grose myself, I remember when I was in bed, I really found it hard to roll over, now I bounce around the bed!!hehe Well Hubby even bounces me when he moves cause he is of fair size..I found it hard to get up off the lounge, I mean I was a size 18 ffs!! ewww..I'll track down a photo...

So from this photo you can see how big I was so I know I shouldn't complain, cause I have been there and I ate all the wrong food, I was lazy and I put on too much weight when I was pregnant. Here Cammy is only 4months old and I am carrying post preggy weight and thats why I sorta feel that I haven't lost that much weight, my normal weight is/was 73kilos, so really I have only lost 5kilos not 13kilos, cause the way I see it, that post baby weight comes off anyway?? Does that make sense?

Anyway Im pretty much rambling now, Im over my angry self now and Im dead tired!!

Night night.

Not good

oh dear, a slip, losing a child to 'big school' and tom isn't doing very well for my diet today!! Ive eaten a few badies today...and NO bike ride,,Im annoyed about that the most, thats for sure, I will be going in the morning, with or without the husband. He gets a bit lazy sometimes and then other times he's all for it and pushing me out the door, can't keep up!!

Isn't it amazing how you can go great guns and then BANG, something just slips and you fall back, dare I say 'off the wagon', man, I have said it before, Im so sick of this battle, its so easy in theory, eat healthy clean food, nothing processed, or out of a packet, drink plenty of water, blah fucking blah, sick of hearing it, sick of reading it, yada yada yada!! Ive finished the Susan Powter book, well nearly and she has some valid points maybe, Im yet to try them, but the thought of eating heaps of the good stuff even raises red flags to me?? She is telling me to work at my intensity level and everything will just 'follow' hmmm, im undecided on that one to, I would think I would need to go like a bat outta hell and work up a huge sweat to make a difference. Ive done that and thats when I found some shape in this body of mine!!

She also says enjoy the 'process', hmm again, not liking that point, I don't want to know myself fat and unfit, but I do regret not taking a photo in my bikini at 81kilos!! Imagine that!

oh I wish I wish I wish I hadda!! I think that's what she means tho, embrace the changes and really revell in them, like really remember when you were at your heaviest and remember you don't want to be there again? I know I certainly won't ever be 80+kilos again.

They say you need to visualize yourself where you want to be, hmm again, Im having trouble with this one, I want to see myself thin and slim and no tummy, another thing she mentions that I enjoyed reading, the stomach- she says, (Susan), that of course you can train the muscles underneath, but you need to lose all the fat before you can see them, well yes I realize this, but she says..I'll just go and find it...

Quote

that stuff hanging off your stomach is fat. The only thing that is going to burn that fat off your stomach and the rest of your body is aerobic activity. It will burn off- ..there is no way on earth that you will sill have fat hanging from your stomach at 15, 17, 19- 20% body fat, have increased your lean muscle mass and are lean and strong and healthy. Think about it. Are you going to be lean everywhere but your stomach? Nope, not possible. It will burn off your stomach just the way it burns off everywhere else.

So that was from her book and yes I have some hope that she is telling the truth, but that flies out the window when I eat crap and then feel sorry for myself, this I find pathetic, so I will put it behind me and move forward and concentrate on the new day in the morning and keep going just as everyone else has to:)

the end *poking tounge!*hehe