Weight this morning- 65.4kilos, I only managed to eat a little bit yesterday, for some energy really, I was very tired and still not 100%. Feel a little bit better today, I will eat normally, (hopefully) food isn't very appealing still but it will come back Im sure, I need fuel for my body again.

Im not going to worry about the scales for now, cause it's not real weight loss, but I'll just keep going and see what happens, my 65kilos reward is a tattoo, but I haven't even worked out what I want yet?

Maybe for my b'day??

still strugglin

Im still plodding alng with the whole struggle to get out of the 67's once and for all..

67.5 this morning. I went to town this morning and of course I didn't have breakfast, for some reason I just can't stomach it at the moment, the thought of eating early is just sickening!!!lol So I had a small cheeseburger meal, but with half the chips, luckily for me they weren't fresh and they had no salt, so I chucked 'em. But still, cheesburger is pretty high in the fat department!!

So, weigh in is in a few days, so I just wonder what i'll be this week??

Dam

Such an up and down day, Ive eaten all the wrong things today with nerves Im sure, no worries, Im weighing in on Wednesday so I have a few days to salvage my 67's!!

My throat is still a little sore but nothing to bad. I am loving cheese at the moment which isn't good considering it is high in Sat Fat, shame, shame....Im going to substitute a few meals with shakes on Sunday and Monday, cause I don't need to go anywhere and I love how they flatten out your tummy a little,(as far as mine can flatten of course, you now what I mean anyway!) probably less bloated without food. I reckon I will strip the weight once and for all when I start work as I will not be able to eat every minute I am bored, I will be working, so all will be good, 65 is close, but still far away if that makes sense?

Up and down, up and down

La la la la la this mornings weight a whole huge big 68.6kilos, and a prize for the fat pig, goes tooooooo ME!!!! Im fucking fantastic at this whole weightloss thing, totally gone off the rails, well not off the rails really, just don't know what the fuck Im doing. And whats more I obviously don't give a shit cause Ide be back on that treadmill that is sitting in the other room taking up space, Ide be counting points and giving a shit, Ide be taking Xantrax and Ide be having shakes. I don't know why I go through this shit constantly, its a lifestyle change and I just slip back so fucking easy into the way I was before....and I must say, it. is. PATHETIC. No other words for it.

So lets all guess, I bettcha $100 Im going to GAIN this week, the magic number I have to beat is 68.1...hmmm lets estimate......I reckon I'll be 68.8kilos this Saturday.

Stay tuned for the fat girls results.

Little miss piggy!!!!

Not much to tell today

Food
1 toast with vegemite
8 clix bickys
1 baby bel cheese
Chicken wrap thingy from kfc
lean mince, potato and extra light sour cream.

Not very good today, but I know why......I was 67.8 on the scale this morning, so, my track record is to think, yay, losing a bit I can become complacent. So stupid I know.

But you know what, Im not so obsessed anymore and that is a good thing, Im starting to feel OK about the weight thing, Im very close to goal and Im not putting a time limit on it, when I get there I know I will get there:)

deleted the last post

It was all wrong, and Ive gone over in points...surprise surprise for the fatty!!!lol
Im blaming hormones, I can right?? Ha! Back into it tomorow, being outta the house and all for the day, so easy for me to keep on track when Im not bored shitless at home..Im a bored housewife...very bored.

I am really tired today and I get a headache everyday cause of the heat...yuck...I actually tried to have a lie down on the lounge, but as usual, the minute I relax the bloody phone rings, this is why I don't rest during the day.. that happens EVERY time I try and rest, go figure, mothers are not meant to stop during the day!!!

I hate exercise again. it didn't take much hey, those who know my history, of weightloss and gain...I HATE it with a passion, if I loved it like I hate it I would be one fit woman:) I love bikeriding tho, but with hubby away I can't go out and ride...he is back for the weekend and first on the list is a ride!!!!! I can't wait. I have realized I have not done anything for 3 weeks, just the odd weights and sit ups and push ups, is it any wonder I am stuck at the weight I am??? Ummm NO. Move and ye shall lose weight:)

I know this shit, so I refuse to complain and hate on my fat self. I am armed with all the info I need so go forth fat ass and do it:)...*smiles*

New week

Ive had my free day with chocolate and lamingtons.....yes i know, but Im paying for it now and I feel sick. I would love to actually listen to my body and NOT eat shit. It makes me sick, literally and because Im too arrogant at times, I can't help myself. I put it down to just plain stupidity.

Anyway, I feel sick and now I will have to put up with it til tomorow. I don't think the Shakes agreed with me either, I felt...just funny all week, I think it is not enough substance for me, Im basically a single mother at the moment, doing everything for 4 children, studying, and trying to keep myself together, I liked that fact that I never felt full and bloated and the weight did come off...(well sort of, 500grams off this week is the same as doing it with food) So I am doing points down to the letter this week and see how I go.

I am on 21 points a day according to this. I still am really annoyed with myself that I couldn't keep my weight under 68 this week, but whats done is done, so new week tomorow:)

Shakes this week

Im gonna do the shake thing this week, only for a week to kick my ass a bit more, Free day today, I had a wicked dinner planned for the kids and it is a all time fave of mine to, my grandma used to make it whenever I went on Holidays with her!! Anyway, lets just say it is fat filled shit and I only make it once every 6months at least, whenever hubby is not here cause he hates it!!!!

So today's food

Toast-vegetmite and honey
coffee
pikelets, jam and lite cream
shake
Wicked dinner......

I am missing my bike rides too, I will put the bike on the trainer today at some stage???? Maybe???? I hate sitting in the one spot on the bike, but I hate this fat more, so I will make sure I do it. I have to have more of 500gram loss this week, 1kilo would be great, but Im not putting any pressure on myself either, what happens happens.

I know shakes are bad but for a week it won't kill me.

Weigh in tomorow!!

I will have a gain of 500grams minimum. Now I don't know what I have done wrong this week? I have eaten decently, I haven't exercised enough, I know that, shit Ive lost my little pocket rocket, my motivator, she goneeeeeee!!! Sad really. Never mind, people come and go in my life and Im used to it:)

Well I tried, but I need a kick up the butt, a reshuffle, Ive been reading a lot about your body staying at a weight and its really hard to shift it again to move further down the scale?? I know I don't look yukky anymore, but Ide like to be a little less on the scale. Im only going for another few kilos??

I have an image in my mind of what I want, but my obsession has gone and my motivation is questionable, I can't blame having no time to exercise, I only have one child left at home and he sleeps for a min of 2-3hours a day, so thats perfect, my studies are taking no time at home yet, Im still insanly addicted to fucking chocolate, but now I don't eat a massive amount of the shit in one sitting! My challenge is off, I obviously don't have the disipline to pull it off, Im not giving up, but Im taking the pressure off myself and saving the dissapointment to myself and having everyone thinking, 'yeah thats right, shes a fat loser", but thanks to those of you who bothered to entertain me, I know I shouldn't need encouragement for me to achieve this, but its the same old story, it helps doesn't it! Maybe if I had a buddy to exercise with and share this horrid fat thing with? I guess if I joined WW or the like I would at least have people to share things with, hell if I had anyone around here would be great!

Anyway, I will weigh in the morning and try not to sulk!!!

Just to Humiliate myself a bit more- OH and Get a bucket, you are gonna need one!!!!

Photo #1 -1/1/07.................................................................................Photo#2- 1/1/08

Well yes, I have come a long way in One year!! O...M...G... Gawd, just with the hair alone!!!!! LOL!!

Now that, my dear friends is fucking grose and disgusting and just plain yuk!!!!

This is what Im talking about, only me in this post and the biggest loser in the last post. No one in bloggerland, I know a lot of lovely ladies that are battling the weight and I am NOT aiming anything at you guys OK! I can't say that enough

The Biggest Loser is loser TV

I cannot get into The Biggest Loser this year, now I know I will be shot down for saying this but they all make me sick!! They are sad to me, dare I say disgusting??? How can they let themselves get so big??? Im cringing at my 3kilos or so to go. Now I mean no disrespect to anyone out there, I myself have been huge, I have obese family members, so I know I should be more considerate, but Im really only speaking of the Biggest Loser, I can't warm to any of them, I don't like one person on there?? Except for Shannan, of course, and Michelles body is to die for and so is Jillians:) But that Shannan, MMMMMmmmmmm!!!!!

Again, I mean NO DISRESPECT to anyone, I am merely making a post on my blog, probably because I am feeling quite angry about different things at the moment, and I tend to say awful things, but really, lose the weight, I would be humiliated even going on that show, for the world to see what I had done to my body?? Stuffed it til it burst...grose...The women are that distorted, just ugly, and I have been there, I remember saying to my mum that I was getting ugly as I was getting older, little did I know it was all the FAT on my face and body...distortion. eeewwww. Not that Im claiming to be a beauty, but you know what Im saying yes?

So Im sorry if I have offended anyone, I don't mean to, Im not going to watch it for a while, they just look like fat, lazy, know they eat the wrong thing, and tooooo much of it kind of people. And I know this cause I speak from experience of seeing people in my OWN family like them.

The thing I remember vividly is hauling my fat self around and being unfit and grose myself, I remember when I was in bed, I really found it hard to roll over, now I bounce around the bed!!hehe Well Hubby even bounces me when he moves cause he is of fair size..I found it hard to get up off the lounge, I mean I was a size 18 ffs!! ewww..I'll track down a photo...

So from this photo you can see how big I was so I know I shouldn't complain, cause I have been there and I ate all the wrong food, I was lazy and I put on too much weight when I was pregnant. Here Cammy is only 4months old and I am carrying post preggy weight and thats why I sorta feel that I haven't lost that much weight, my normal weight is/was 73kilos, so really I have only lost 5kilos not 13kilos, cause the way I see it, that post baby weight comes off anyway?? Does that make sense?

Anyway Im pretty much rambling now, Im over my angry self now and Im dead tired!!

Night night.

its not working!!

Just when I think im doing well, bang, I fall flat on my face...Im heavier this morning and this has made me angry!! Im being good with food, Im moving, obviously not enough. My tummy is all bloated and YUK, how am I going to get my belly pierced looking like that! eww..sigh, sigh again...That was a goal for when I was 67kilos, but Im still tooooo fat!!!!!! And I can't seem to get any thinner??????????????????????

Im going for 65kilos now, I thought 63kilos, but I think thats outta the question, Im struggling enough to get past 68...again. I thought I had the drive and determination, but I think 65kilos will be low enough? Im 173cms so I can't expect to get to thin, Im going to look to drawn and old if Im too thin, cause you know, I only lose from my face and shoulders, the fat stomach is here to stay Im afraid. GROSE.