All is well

awwww, not as bad as I thought?????? Still a small gain, but Im still those stoopid 68's, but Im still gonna have a pass.

I think I really do like the way the shakes work with weightloss, but I know its not long term....I wonder if I committed to shakes for 2 weeks, what would happen?? Im hopeless at committing to anything so, I'll just go with the flow for now.

I have chocolate this week, and high sat fat, so I have to rectify this for the next week:)

I need to focus on exercise this week coming, cause my problem areas need toning, but Ive been saying that FOREVER, so I can either do 1 of 2 things

1-keep complaining about and carry on like I did in the start of this journey

OR

2- get moving and make myself proud again and prove to everyone I am not a flighty try hard weightlosser...

I like option #2

Have a great weekend:)

Passing on weigh in tomorow

Well seen as Ive lost the plot with the whole weight thing this week, I am passing on the weigh in tomorow, call it a cop out, it is, but my hubby is coming home after 3 weeks away and he will tell me how I look anyway:) So one pass in about, hmmm, 16months of this shit won't kill me huh!!!

so Im chickening out!!

16months so far on trying to get thinner, that means I have lost 800grams per month, 200grams a week. Is that right?? My god, that is pathetic.

Up and down, up and down

La la la la la this mornings weight a whole huge big 68.6kilos, and a prize for the fat pig, goes tooooooo ME!!!! Im fucking fantastic at this whole weightloss thing, totally gone off the rails, well not off the rails really, just don't know what the fuck Im doing. And whats more I obviously don't give a shit cause Ide be back on that treadmill that is sitting in the other room taking up space, Ide be counting points and giving a shit, Ide be taking Xantrax and Ide be having shakes. I don't know why I go through this shit constantly, its a lifestyle change and I just slip back so fucking easy into the way I was before....and I must say, it. is. PATHETIC. No other words for it.

So lets all guess, I bettcha $100 Im going to GAIN this week, the magic number I have to beat is 68.1...hmmm lets estimate......I reckon I'll be 68.8kilos this Saturday.

Stay tuned for the fat girls results.

Little miss piggy!!!!

Not much to tell today

Food
1 toast with vegemite
8 clix bickys
1 baby bel cheese
Chicken wrap thingy from kfc
lean mince, potato and extra light sour cream.

Not very good today, but I know why......I was 67.8 on the scale this morning, so, my track record is to think, yay, losing a bit I can become complacent. So stupid I know.

But you know what, Im not so obsessed anymore and that is a good thing, Im starting to feel OK about the weight thing, Im very close to goal and Im not putting a time limit on it, when I get there I know I will get there:)

Right-time to get serious

even if it is for today, one day at a time.



Food

Shake..(I know, but Im in a hurry this morning..)


Apple

Egg salad

coffee

Chicken satay- Lean Cuisine

water x 2litres...this is a huge challenge for Tafe as I don't drink any, so note to self today-DRINK IT WOMAN:)


Ok, end of day-Pretty good day really, food good, water...getting better:)

deleted the last post

It was all wrong, and Ive gone over in points...surprise surprise for the fatty!!!lol
Im blaming hormones, I can right?? Ha! Back into it tomorow, being outta the house and all for the day, so easy for me to keep on track when Im not bored shitless at home..Im a bored housewife...very bored.

I am really tired today and I get a headache everyday cause of the heat...yuck...I actually tried to have a lie down on the lounge, but as usual, the minute I relax the bloody phone rings, this is why I don't rest during the day.. that happens EVERY time I try and rest, go figure, mothers are not meant to stop during the day!!!

I hate exercise again. it didn't take much hey, those who know my history, of weightloss and gain...I HATE it with a passion, if I loved it like I hate it I would be one fit woman:) I love bikeriding tho, but with hubby away I can't go out and ride...he is back for the weekend and first on the list is a ride!!!!! I can't wait. I have realized I have not done anything for 3 weeks, just the odd weights and sit ups and push ups, is it any wonder I am stuck at the weight I am??? Ummm NO. Move and ye shall lose weight:)

I know this shit, so I refuse to complain and hate on my fat self. I am armed with all the info I need so go forth fat ass and do it:)...*smiles*

21 points today!!!

So, Im stuck at a number again...I remember a while ago, I was stuck at around 70kilos, couldn't budge from that, tried hard, but na, STUCK I tell ya!! NOW, it seems Im stuck around the 68kilos mark, so no worries, I will just go fully back on points and the weight has no choice but to go, right? That is the WW way, count points, move a little and viola, you lose???? So thats the plan...again....why try to fix what isn't broken?

I know I will get to goal, eventually, so Im not going to hate myself, (much) I'll just go with the flow, Ive been overweight forever so is my body just trying to hold onto what its got?? hehe.

A friend came over yesterday and she can't believe how much weight Ive lost!! what??? I still feel huge!!! I even contemplated joining WW, but I realize (1)- theres no point for just 3kilos and (2) they wouldn't allow it cause Im within healthy range, how funny!!! Im not happy with this range tho..

Food
cereal, coffee=3
fruit=1
potato+sweet chilli and ex light Sour cream=3
fruit=1
pasta dish.(high)
apple.=1

New week

Ive had my free day with chocolate and lamingtons.....yes i know, but Im paying for it now and I feel sick. I would love to actually listen to my body and NOT eat shit. It makes me sick, literally and because Im too arrogant at times, I can't help myself. I put it down to just plain stupidity.

Anyway, I feel sick and now I will have to put up with it til tomorow. I don't think the Shakes agreed with me either, I felt...just funny all week, I think it is not enough substance for me, Im basically a single mother at the moment, doing everything for 4 children, studying, and trying to keep myself together, I liked that fact that I never felt full and bloated and the weight did come off...(well sort of, 500grams off this week is the same as doing it with food) So I am doing points down to the letter this week and see how I go.

I am on 21 points a day according to this. I still am really annoyed with myself that I couldn't keep my weight under 68 this week, but whats done is done, so new week tomorow:)

Fuck this shit

68.1..what the fuck???? What the fuck happened to 67.5??? Im so pissed off its not funny, what the fuck do I have to do to get rid of this shit from my body?




Fucking annoyed and fucking over it.

scary weigh in tomorow!!!!

mmm hmmmm, scary I thinks, I was 67.8kilos...oh noooos thats UP 300grams!!!!!!
This isn't good is it???? Oh noooooooooooooooos Seee just when I think Im doing well and being cocky saying I have only 2.5kilos till 65kilos,,,this shit happens!!!

Now I don't want to weigh in!!! Just kidding...I am happy even with that weight cause it is a loss after all....and surely its only a matter of time to hit the 66's.........jumping for joy on that day!!!!! I give myself 2 more weeks at a minimum to get there!!!! It has helped that I have had a little bit of anxiety too tho...

My hubby is away and I am smaller and I like it, he will be in for a pleasent surprise I hope!!! I can focus a lot better when he isn't home!!!! Silly hey!

I have noticed something in myself tho, when ever I put a time limit, or a plan for a diet, or something of the like I always fuck it up and sabotage?? Is this cause I fear failure?? Like for eg, I wanted to lose the 2kilos b4 hubby got back, I went well for a while and then bang- fucked it up!!! I do this constanly, I like the way Im going now, no pressure for results, just doing one day at a time...

till tomorow:)

Going down..yay

Ha! I shouldda been doing shakes months ago!!! Im down to 67.5, wow, since Sat (68.6) I lost over 1kg, so Im happy with that! Even with a bit of naughty food yesterday. All good!

Food today
egg on toast
coffee
shake
banana
shake
coffee

Exercise
weights.

Day 3-Wedddnesdaaaaayyyyy

Good morning everyone!!

Morning weight...........67.7..least its working:)

Hmmm..Not sure if I like these shake things?? Im not hungry or anything but I just feel....um....I dunno...empty in a way? Light headed but not in a faintly sort of way? Not sure how to describe it? Moving on, its just something Im trying anyway..



So food today.

Egg and toast

coffee

banana

shake Chicken burger

muesli bar

diet coke

vegie soup Shake and garlic bread......(naughty)



A little more substance for when Im out at Tafe. My teacher and another student (a mature lady as well:)...) are on Tony Ferguson and they are doing well, maybe the Musashi Protein powder hasn't got as much in it?? dunno? I will only do shakes til Saturday and then I will do points next week, but I will have one shake per day, just so I can see whats gonna work and whats not...

Exercise
Push ups *done*
Sit ups *done*
Sqats *done*...(Ive been awake since 5am!)

Well I might be able to get my 2 rewards together??? Shoes and belly piercing?? Hmmm, Im a bit chicken now!!!(for the piercing!!)

Enjoy your day all:)

Well....... I ended up getting my belly done!!!! yayayayayayayay, didn't hurt very much, a little bit uncomfy, but OK, Ive got a nice purlpe stone, It looks yuk so I don't think I will take piccy's, I don't have a nice tummy, so I dunno, maybe I'll show it when I hit 65kilos! ?????

Day 2- weight-68kilos

Down 200grams already, and down 600grams since weig in!! WooHoo!
Maybe tomorow I will be in the 67's??

Day 2 and I had a great day yesterday so Im thinking today will be great too!



Food

Egg and toast

Coffee

Banana

Shake

Tuna

Shake



Im having the shakes a bit differently today, only cause Im out and I don't want to starve or run outta energy...lol



Im pretty positive I will be in the 67's this Saturday, I will weigh everyday and see my progress, or not, either way! I think I will do shakes one week and then points the next, cause how many times have you seen and heard that people have done TF or Herbalife and the minute they eat 'real' food again they pile the weight on??? Not me!! Taking it week about should be OK.



My hairdresser has been on Tony Ferguson and she lost a lot of weight, but she went off it over Xmas and put 5kilos on very quickly, surprise surprise!



I saw something a bit grose yesterday at the school, a mother came up to pick her kid up and she picked up her school bag and checked for the lunchbox, well she ate some grapes...ewww, these bags are outside!!! ewwww, She is a fattish lady too, it makes me sad to see really fat ladies, like this one, she is pretty large and I just feel sorry for her, you can see she even looks sad in her eyes, Im sure she's not happy with herself. I used to put on a brave face and pretend I was always happy and sure of myself, anyway, they have to help themselves hey?

Have a fantastic day!!!!

P.S- who is my visitor from Japan????

Shake Challenge- starting weight 68.2kilos

Well its not a challenge but it sounds good!!lol

Ok Start weight this morning 68.2, oooh so close to those bloody 67's it's not funny! grrr, I will get into them shorlty no doubt, but I like how Im looking and that is a great milestone, I have hated my figure for as long as I can remember, but I think Im looking pretty good in clothes now, its not like i have to be naked infront of anyone, (my husband doesn't count).

All I really need to achieve now is TONE, TONE, TONE!!! So Im starting Pilates, Ive got the dvds at home so when Cammy is in bed I will do one per day. I would love to go to the gym, but I will work with what Ive got!

Food today

Shake

Coffee

Banana

Shake

Kavli + Tuna

Lean Cuisine- Satay Chicken---Oh thats yummy hey!!

Coffee

Showing off...just a little:)

I found these jeans in my cupboard, shit and jesus, I wore these this time last year...eeeeewwwwwwww, they are a size 16 but a HUGE 16, an I thought I look OK...holy shit, well take a look at the photo a few posts back and you can see how fat I was, Disgusting fat pig, nothing else really can describe it! You can see my stretch marks too!! Thankfully Im posting to myself and not many of you have seen it!!

I actually can't believe they fit me?? I remember buying them and thinking they looked huge....well hello Emma YOU WERE...lol

(Scuse the bra, but I did cover the girls!!)

Shakes this week

Im gonna do the shake thing this week, only for a week to kick my ass a bit more, Free day today, I had a wicked dinner planned for the kids and it is a all time fave of mine to, my grandma used to make it whenever I went on Holidays with her!! Anyway, lets just say it is fat filled shit and I only make it once every 6months at least, whenever hubby is not here cause he hates it!!!!

So today's food

Toast-vegetmite and honey
coffee
pikelets, jam and lite cream
shake
Wicked dinner......

I am missing my bike rides too, I will put the bike on the trainer today at some stage???? Maybe???? I hate sitting in the one spot on the bike, but I hate this fat more, so I will make sure I do it. I have to have more of 500gram loss this week, 1kilo would be great, but Im not putting any pressure on myself either, what happens happens.

I know shakes are bad but for a week it won't kill me.

500grams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh No!!!!!I bloody new it tho!!! So Im still in the stupid 68's....68.6 to be exact, Ok so I went wrong this week by not exercising enough, so my mission this week is to MOVE, I need to get on that treadmill. Why isn't the weight coming off like it did when I was a real fattyy!!!!!!! Arrrgggggghhhhhhhhh....SO FRUSTRATING.

Anyway, onto another week:) put it past meself and keep going:)

My goals
#1-67kilos- belly piercing, yeah Ive wanted this done sine I was 74kilos, I actually went into the shop in town that does it and explained to the man that I was in the 'process' of losing weight and asked if I could get it done then or wait til I was a little smaller, and he said wait til I was smaller!!lol now, but I was a little embarasses at the time!

#2-66kilos-New outfit. Im pledging not to buy one piece of clothing again til that time:)

#3-65-Happiness.

Oh and Im not taking anymore photos till I hit those goals either.

Weigh in tomorow!!

I will have a gain of 500grams minimum. Now I don't know what I have done wrong this week? I have eaten decently, I haven't exercised enough, I know that, shit Ive lost my little pocket rocket, my motivator, she goneeeeeee!!! Sad really. Never mind, people come and go in my life and Im used to it:)

Well I tried, but I need a kick up the butt, a reshuffle, Ive been reading a lot about your body staying at a weight and its really hard to shift it again to move further down the scale?? I know I don't look yukky anymore, but Ide like to be a little less on the scale. Im only going for another few kilos??

I have an image in my mind of what I want, but my obsession has gone and my motivation is questionable, I can't blame having no time to exercise, I only have one child left at home and he sleeps for a min of 2-3hours a day, so thats perfect, my studies are taking no time at home yet, Im still insanly addicted to fucking chocolate, but now I don't eat a massive amount of the shit in one sitting! My challenge is off, I obviously don't have the disipline to pull it off, Im not giving up, but Im taking the pressure off myself and saving the dissapointment to myself and having everyone thinking, 'yeah thats right, shes a fat loser", but thanks to those of you who bothered to entertain me, I know I shouldn't need encouragement for me to achieve this, but its the same old story, it helps doesn't it! Maybe if I had a buddy to exercise with and share this horrid fat thing with? I guess if I joined WW or the like I would at least have people to share things with, hell if I had anyone around here would be great!

Anyway, I will weigh in the morning and try not to sulk!!!

Just to Humiliate myself a bit more- OH and Get a bucket, you are gonna need one!!!!

Photo #1 -1/1/07.................................................................................Photo#2- 1/1/08

Well yes, I have come a long way in One year!! O...M...G... Gawd, just with the hair alone!!!!! LOL!!

Now that, my dear friends is fucking grose and disgusting and just plain yuk!!!!

This is what Im talking about, only me in this post and the biggest loser in the last post. No one in bloggerland, I know a lot of lovely ladies that are battling the weight and I am NOT aiming anything at you guys OK! I can't say that enough

The Biggest Loser is loser TV

I cannot get into The Biggest Loser this year, now I know I will be shot down for saying this but they all make me sick!! They are sad to me, dare I say disgusting??? How can they let themselves get so big??? Im cringing at my 3kilos or so to go. Now I mean no disrespect to anyone out there, I myself have been huge, I have obese family members, so I know I should be more considerate, but Im really only speaking of the Biggest Loser, I can't warm to any of them, I don't like one person on there?? Except for Shannan, of course, and Michelles body is to die for and so is Jillians:) But that Shannan, MMMMMmmmmmm!!!!!

Again, I mean NO DISRESPECT to anyone, I am merely making a post on my blog, probably because I am feeling quite angry about different things at the moment, and I tend to say awful things, but really, lose the weight, I would be humiliated even going on that show, for the world to see what I had done to my body?? Stuffed it til it burst...grose...The women are that distorted, just ugly, and I have been there, I remember saying to my mum that I was getting ugly as I was getting older, little did I know it was all the FAT on my face and body...distortion. eeewwww. Not that Im claiming to be a beauty, but you know what Im saying yes?

So Im sorry if I have offended anyone, I don't mean to, Im not going to watch it for a while, they just look like fat, lazy, know they eat the wrong thing, and tooooo much of it kind of people. And I know this cause I speak from experience of seeing people in my OWN family like them.

The thing I remember vividly is hauling my fat self around and being unfit and grose myself, I remember when I was in bed, I really found it hard to roll over, now I bounce around the bed!!hehe Well Hubby even bounces me when he moves cause he is of fair size..I found it hard to get up off the lounge, I mean I was a size 18 ffs!! ewww..I'll track down a photo...

So from this photo you can see how big I was so I know I shouldn't complain, cause I have been there and I ate all the wrong food, I was lazy and I put on too much weight when I was pregnant. Here Cammy is only 4months old and I am carrying post preggy weight and thats why I sorta feel that I haven't lost that much weight, my normal weight is/was 73kilos, so really I have only lost 5kilos not 13kilos, cause the way I see it, that post baby weight comes off anyway?? Does that make sense?

Anyway Im pretty much rambling now, Im over my angry self now and Im dead tired!!

Night night.

its not working!!

Just when I think im doing well, bang, I fall flat on my face...Im heavier this morning and this has made me angry!! Im being good with food, Im moving, obviously not enough. My tummy is all bloated and YUK, how am I going to get my belly pierced looking like that! eww..sigh, sigh again...That was a goal for when I was 67kilos, but Im still tooooo fat!!!!!! And I can't seem to get any thinner??????????????????????

Im going for 65kilos now, I thought 63kilos, but I think thats outta the question, Im struggling enough to get past 68...again. I thought I had the drive and determination, but I think 65kilos will be low enough? Im 173cms so I can't expect to get to thin, Im going to look to drawn and old if Im too thin, cause you know, I only lose from my face and shoulders, the fat stomach is here to stay Im afraid. GROSE.

Had a very good day food wise

eggs and toast for breaky+ coffee

shake and a peach for lunch

coffee

rice and tuna patties for dinner

low in points so I think its ok, (the patties were cooked in yukky old oil) No more food tonight anyway:)

No exercise cause Im tired and can't be bothered...not good I know!

Don't really think I am in for much of a loss this week but its only Wednesday so we'll see I guess? But like I said before, whatever I lose the better:) Slow and steady and I will win the race...FOR SURE. Im not feeling any thinner but today I wore my skinny jeans!!! Last time I wore them was 5 flipping years ago, can you believe that!!! I kept them all this time cause I new how awesome and skinny I looked in them..not to sound up myself, but you know what its like when you finally get into something that makes you feel better!!! Actually they are loose in the legs and butt!! Yayayayayayayayy!!!

This photo is a lie actually, Im not that skinny looking its because it is on the side, but Hey, I like the look of it so its staying!!!!hehe, No I know how to cheer myself up when I am in fatty mode...lol

Wed-nesss-dayyy

Going well on my challenge, thanks for the kind vote of NO!!!! I won't make it...lol even if I don't lose 2 kilos I won't beat myself up, Im trying and thats the main thing:)

Food today
egg on toast, coffee
banana
shake
??
??
??
Not worked past that!

Normal exercise

Have a great day all!!

Great day!!

Food today

Toast and egg, coffee
salad and lentil patty
vegies and salmon patty:) (go the patties this week!)

Haven't had much today but I had Tafe so I don't eat a great deal cause Im too busy and engrossed!!

Exercise
weights
sit ups
sqauts
push ups.

Im trying to do as much incedental as I can too:)

2 kilo countdown continues:)

Day one-it begins

Day one is under way!
Food
cereal and coffee =3
banana=1
Toasted tuna, cheese, lettuce, onion and BBQ sauce sammich=6
vegies and lentil patties =4
Coffee-1
I'll be counting WW points..yeah I know boring, but it works!! So far Im up to 15, 3points to go!! I reckon Im on 18 points now, haven't go the luxury of breastfeeding and I was on 26points...yowzazzz, but I still lost weight. I haven't been on the tready yet, man it is proving to be a hard thing to get back on, but I will do my weights and other stuff after dinner..(i hope:))???


Exercise
sit ups
squats
push ups
arm weights
walk.

Will check in at end of day to make sure I did everything and ate what I should have.

Im raring to go and really want to lose 1kilo this week??????/ All I can do is try my hrdest and go from there, I know this is a lifestyle change and its a long road but I know I will get there eventually and get to a weight that Im happy with?? So what if my tummy is flabby, I have cellulite, and Im not toned like a body builder? Is it really the end of the world? No, not really. Im not doing this to compete in a title, or to snag me a new man!! Im doing this for myself and I have an image in my head of what I want and all I can do is strive to do the best I can:)

2 week challenge

I just went thru this on other blog but this is where I'll keep a check on myself

2 weeks to lose between 1.5 and 2kilos???

How I will do this
1- eat healthy
2- maybe have a few shakes to replace a few dinners
3-I think I will take my Xantrax on Tafe days so I don't get as hungry to
4- treadmill
5-water, and lots of it

So are you with me peoples??? I need all the support I can get, Ive lost the plot a little with this weightloss thing of late!! But Im determined to be thinner when my husband gets back!!

Weigh in day!

22nd Jan 08

9th Feb 08

At least its a loss, 900grams this week, so Im 68.1kilos now. Oh the frustration of the same shape, I can see I need some professional training help and Im sure they could whip my shape around to a more toned look, but alas, I can't afford the money or the time for the gym. well, yes the time I could I guess, but I'll just have to persevere at home. I love bike riding, but hubby is going away for work tomorow, so I will have to put my bike on the trainer and I hate that! It is boring and just drowns on and on...

Im not having a free day today, Ive had different treats through the week and I will just keep going!

Food today

Coffee

cereal

fruit

??

My measurements haven't changed much either

Bust-93cm, minus 1cm

Waist-83cm, minus 1cm

Hips-101cms, same

5.1kilos to go!!!

Im aiming for 63kilos:)

So the scales are heading down again. Thank fuck! I am 400grams off what I was 2 weeks ago and Im happy with that, notice Im not telling anyone what I weigh or how much Im losing???? Not sure if thats a good thing or bad???? hehehe. I have had a coffee and a cupcake all day so far and after the cupcake I felt sick, so serves meself right, that is NOT the right food to have...Shake for lunch and chicken strifry for dinner...all gooD

Exercise for the day
bike ride
arm weights
sit ups
squats
push ups.

I would really love to go to the gym and get a weight regime happening but that ain't gonna happen..shame hey! No matter, I will do what I can at home and Im sure thats better than nothing!

Facing the music in the morning...

Well Im facing the scales in the morning, I know I will have a bloody gain, but really lots has been happening and Ive been off a little....no excuse I know, but anyway.

Ive just been reading a few of my bloggerery bloggers and hell, some are going off in the weights and gym department!!! Really all I need to do if I feel like slipping is read them! Motivation plus!! Lovin it:)

We went for a ride this arvo and it really killed us both! I couldn't push my legs at ALL..I only burned 157cals, but it is better than nothing. We had Maccas for lunch..I KNOW!!!! terrible huh! Well I hadn't had burgers for ages so thats my excuse and Im sticking to it:)

I made Sushi for dinner, my new absolute LOVE, I can't believe I hated it so much before..hmmm silly!

Biggest Loser has started tonight and I love it to!! Lots of love tonight, which is a nice change thats for sure!!! Shannon is sooooo soooooo hot, I love him and his arms and his body and his voive and his...oh the list is endless, if I was younger and in Sydney I would have to chase him down!!!

Well til tomorow, Im not telling you all my weight and Im not taking photos, cause I look the same and theres no point showing off the same thing over and over again, but I will say I went to the beach today and didn't wear my bikini top...not good...

Saturday NOT weigh in

Well I didn't weigh in this morning, Ive stepped back a bit on my whole obsession with the scales and the food and the diary I keep documenting everything, Ive been good and Im still riding, but I need to get remotivated a bit more, Ive had some stuff to deal with lately, but I think Im under control again.

I did a bike ride and a walk yesterday followed by weights and sit ups and squats, I burned about 350cals..(I think from memory, I can't be bothered to get my book!!) And Im riding this arvo after dinner. (we eat at 5.30pm cause of the little ones!)

So I will weigh in on Monday?? Not sure, when ever I feel like it I think!

Im not counting points or doing Cal King, or shakes or Xantrax, nuthin, I need to find a regime that is new and refreshing cause Ive gone a bit stale, with exercise to, I love riding so that is a start. Im over the treadmill just for the moment,which is a shame, but no doubt I'll get back into it once I settle all down again.