eeny meeny miiny mo??

When do I weigh in?? I haven't had a look on the scales for a few days and that is weird for me! I am not near my 66.2 where I was after my dreaded cold (dam) but Im not in the 68's either??? I don't think. Im seriously considering doing the right thing and counting points and doing my exercises again, but Im struggling to do this?? Why??? I don't know?

Im sorta OK with how Im going weight wise, although Im untoned and now unfit...(fuck it).but I look not to bad, not like 14kilos heavier ago anyway. Im trying to monitor what goes in and not eat tooooo much of anything, I still eat choccy each week but just not a whole block in one sitting!! Although I still could ya know:)

I bought some new clothes and instead of being XL, I now can buy M, I even bought a size 10 singlet top to and that was great! So what if it is a big make!!

I have to take a photo, I haven't done one in my bikinis for over a month, but I don't think there is much change, allllll my readers can decide!!! haha, Im joking. My 8 readers per day can decide!!

Love you all:) hehe

nite.nite.

Weigh in in the morning

Well I weighed in today, ok ok I weigh everyday, but I was 66.3!!! woohoo, that is a loss of 1.5 for the week, but I have been a bit off with a cold so I really can't take this week as real, cause Im not eating well and I just feel its fake, but even so I guess thats part of the journey..so if I go up next week well so be it!

1.3 from 65kilos, such a great feeling tho, I really can't remember when I was last that weight, I know I was around 64-65 at 18/19yo maybe, gosh to long ago. My shape has changed of course after having babies, Ive spread out in the hip area, widened, even tho I have heard people say that 'your hips are you hips' mine are definatly wider since having children and I know my body so there!!!

But you know what,I still feel fat and big and huge and the big girl. I wonder if that ever goes away? I know Im not fat, I was at 80kilos, but I still feel big, I can't accept people at work telling me how thin I look, and don't get me wrong, Im not saying that to show off or anything, but I just can't see it? Anyway I guess thats just years of accepting fat and being fat, and always being the 'big' girl.

Will it ever go?


I think not..

So close

So close but still so far away! Ivecome to the realization that Im almost at my ideal weight, well nearly, all my old clothes are bigger than they have ever been, but Im still not a neat size 12, Im putting it down to the fact that Im tall? I know people that are around 70kilos and they are a size 12, nup, not me, Im about a 13, but there is no such size, so 14 it is? Some 12's but mostly 14, least Im out of my 16-18...ewww

So this morning I loved the scales, 66.8 and thats only 1.8 off 65, so close I tell ya..but that will go up cause Im unwell with no appitite, so no food is tasting worthwhile, love it tho, I only have a sore throat and Im greatfull Im not sick sick, but anyway..not hungry and thats the main thing eh?

I still hate my tummy, but Im really the only one who sees it naked and my hubby doesn't count! but i accept it so im getting better! if i was all obsessed with fitness like in the past i could improve it no doubt a little but im not so i accept the consequences.

arghhhh

Not good, Im fat and lazy at the moment...I can't get back on track for some reason, I have everyone around me telling me how thin I look, and I don't say this to sound up myself, but I have become complacent and lazy!! And I reckon its the same old thing, I see the results on the scales and I slacken off, I have done this on my entire journey, one step forward and 3 steps back, I didn't weigh myself this morning, but I can tell you it will be no where near 67.1, try 68.4 is my estimate. Im a fuckwit and need to get with the program again...

200grams!!!!!!!!

Oh man, Im 67.1kilos....soooo close t 66 its not funny!!!!!!! Grrrrrr, had a pretty good day food wise...

Toast+Avocado
Coffee
Jarrah Hot choc
Sushi
Pumpkin soup..(with cream tho)
Chicken strip chilli thingys and salad. (not a great choice either)

B4 bed tonight, Im am doing
sit ups
arm weights
squats
and push ups.

I have neglected exercise for too long, I really need to tone, as I have said many times before, but I have to do it, there is no excuse..

Im going to make sure I do heaps of incedental excerise too.

Im sure I will lose this last few kilos...

Long time no post!

So, thought I might post on this fatty blog....been not really doing anything of late...had a 500gram gain this week, which after Easter, I don't give a shit really!!!lol Im still under 68kilos and thats all that matters..

Went shopping today after work, I had to take some black pants back that were HUGE, size 14. I bought 2 skirts, both 14, but both big, no 12, but I think it would have been a little tight in this make of skirts?? and I got a pair of 3/4 pants...size 12! yay and they were $5...bloody bargain. and I got a medium knitted type top, so all that was only 30 bucks..I love end of season, and because its all black for work it always works!

So I need to get back into my point counting or sensible eating...Im a bit far away from 65kilos at the moment and I don't really like that. Im not fat anymore, well just a little in the tummy but I hide it well and I must admit, at work everyone thinks Im thin!! WHAT????? How nice is it to hear tho:) Its because Im tall and I dress to hide my tummy!!

Anyway, back to counting points, Im on 22 a day, so I need to refocus and go for it again!! I will bloddy get to 64-65kilos. I want to be thinner, thinner thinner!!!!lol

Im closing this blog. My other blog will be going private, if I know who you are and you would like an invite to the other one let me know, it will have the whole fatloss thing as well as my exciting new job all over it!

The fight is ON

Fighting to keep this weight off, but unfortunatly I am loooooosssssingggggggg...aaarrrgggghhh, why do we have to eat????? Im eating just enough not to be hungry, Im still a tad queasy at the thought of food, but Im surviving....but, I am 66.5 now, I can't put anymore on, I am soooo bloody close to my elusive 65kilos!!!!! I am still dehydrated, to be crude, my wee is still yellow!! And I never need to go!! Need to drink 3 more litres and it should be OK!!lol

My Husband has never seen me this thin and that in itself is great, he came home this weekend and said I was skinny, (finally) flabby, but thin, I have never been any less than 72kilos with him until I embarked on this journey of course. Then my son (14) says his friends think I am a MILF!!!!!! Holy fat chick, isn't that a compliment:) Well for me it is:) Last time I was 66kilos, I think I was around 20?? Sumthing like that, young anyway.

Now that Im about to start work I will be able to pack nothing but healthy snacks, friut, crackers, light cheese, water and salad for lunch, can't wait, I actually can't wait to get thinner..(in a healthy way, you know what Im saying) I really have to set a weight routine up cause I have no tone and that is ugly..I realize we need both cardio and weights, but not liking the cardio atm...not good I know, heart health and all..

We went for a bike ride yesterday and I must say, I was buggered! Haven't been for a while! But it was good, really had to push cause Im still a little washed out after being unwell...pheww

I will weigh in on Thursday I think, b4 Easter! Luuurrrrvvvvv choccy and plan the Easter Bunny to bring me sumthink scrummy:)

Weight this morning- 65.4kilos, I only managed to eat a little bit yesterday, for some energy really, I was very tired and still not 100%. Feel a little bit better today, I will eat normally, (hopefully) food isn't very appealing still but it will come back Im sure, I need fuel for my body again.

Im not going to worry about the scales for now, cause it's not real weight loss, but I'll just keep going and see what happens, my 65kilos reward is a tattoo, but I haven't even worked out what I want yet?

Maybe for my b'day??

No weigh in

This mornings weight was...drumroll...65.6kilos! WTF?? you say!! well don't get to excited!!! I was very, very sick yesterday, so this is just all water/fluid gone.. Awwww a shame I know!!

Never mind, I will have a pass this week and hope I don't put to much on during the week...Unless I take yesterdays weight which was 67.4?? Nah, I'll have a pass, and eat really well for the next week and I might make it into the 66's for next Thursday?

It was really good to see that number on the scales though!! I tried to take a picture, but the reflection got the plastic and I couldn't see it!!Shame, shame!!!

Anyway, I know i will get to the 65's again, I plan on doing that by my Birthday in April, I have about 4 weeks, so I better behave, Im eating waaay to much chocolate and cheese again, and I wouldn't be surprised if that contributed to me getting so sick, my body really doesn't like it, but because Im so stubborn I don't listen to myself, how dumb is that?

still strugglin

Im still plodding alng with the whole struggle to get out of the 67's once and for all..

67.5 this morning. I went to town this morning and of course I didn't have breakfast, for some reason I just can't stomach it at the moment, the thought of eating early is just sickening!!!lol So I had a small cheeseburger meal, but with half the chips, luckily for me they weren't fresh and they had no salt, so I chucked 'em. But still, cheesburger is pretty high in the fat department!!

So, weigh in is in a few days, so I just wonder what i'll be this week??

Going down!

67.4 this morning, Im racing to get to the 66's!! If I stay well behaved I might just get there this week coming?


I am no longer classing myself as a fatty, I am just untoned is all, Im not a size 12, but size is irrelevant, I am tall so I can't expect to be a size 10 really.

I found the plug thing that goes in my fitball so I can blow it up again, better for situps and push ups.

Claytons Weigh in

Weighing in but not weighing in..if that is possible? 67.6 this morning. Good, am I getting out of the 68's for sure???? Won't know til Thursday when I weigh in for real?

To be honest I will be happy to stay around this weight for a little while anyway, then move down to the 66's, scary...2 weeks till hubby gets back and his parents are coming to visit, wouldn't it be nice to be in the 66's?? Hopefully I will start work very shortly, hairdressers rarely get breaks so it will be good to eat things that are healthy on the run, fruit, vegie sticks, maybe yoghurt ect?? I'll drop the weight for sure, #1 cause Im out working fulltime and #2 no real sit down and eat time!!

Bring it on

Dayam, I might just end up skinny after all??

hehe, one can hope yes?

Dam

Such an up and down day, Ive eaten all the wrong things today with nerves Im sure, no worries, Im weighing in on Wednesday so I have a few days to salvage my 67's!!

My throat is still a little sore but nothing to bad. I am loving cheese at the moment which isn't good considering it is high in Sat Fat, shame, shame....Im going to substitute a few meals with shakes on Sunday and Monday, cause I don't need to go anywhere and I love how they flatten out your tummy a little,(as far as mine can flatten of course, you now what I mean anyway!) probably less bloated without food. I reckon I will strip the weight once and for all when I start work as I will not be able to eat every minute I am bored, I will be working, so all will be good, 65 is close, but still far away if that makes sense?

Luv ya Chezza!!!!!!! :)

Well I didn't check the scales this morning, I want to stay with that 67.2 number in my head thank you very much, although its killing me not knowing if I in fact made it into the 66's, that is pushing it I think so I will be happy with what I got already!

I have woken up with a bit of a cold now anyway, so Im not even hungry, lots of fluids today, my 2 girls have got a cold as well. Change of weather probably. I love Autumn tho and I love winter even more! The cool breezes in the morning are just beautiful.

Im a bore right?

There is a growing trend in Bloggerland that not many comments are being left, this is so cause I feel I am

1-posting to myself
2-Im boring
3-Ive pissed people off
4-Im not really fat and disgusting and people can't laugh at me anymore
5-people don't like me anymore

I, like everyone, love to recieve comments, then at least you know you are not wasting your time, or blabbering to nobody. I guess Im not whinging enough about hating myself anymore, I don't show much of myself, I don't have an intersting job, I don't have a fabulous social life, Im basically not intersting!! And I don't talk about sex, now theres something that will send my comments up!!!lol I get about 20 people looking at this blog per day...what!!!! It's not worth me posting!!! And on my other one I get around 50, now I must be a pathetic bore, good thing I have thick skin!!!

Its amazing how 'friends' come and go on here.

Nah, Im taking the piss outta myself, it is just interesting to see what people comment on.

Anyway enough of that, I like having a blog that is nearly 'secret'!!! I could say anything!!! *winks*

Sooooo, Im skinny* now and I feel ok saying that, I walk up the stairs at Tafe and I can see that I look smaller in the window as Im walking up, my legs are thin and my overall frame has gotten smaller. Great! I was the smallest weight this morning that I have been in 10 yars and my god, it feels fucking great!!!! My goal of 65kilos is just around the corner and I could even go a little smaller??? I don't look gaunt or horribubble, I still have a big tummy, but after 4 whopping children I can and will use that as an excuse, so there!

I have seen many people say, 'oh thats just an excuse that a fat and lazy woman uses' well, no, in fact, Ive lost 14kilos and although I look OK, I still have the same stretched, grose, flabby, tummy and I hate it with a passion, but Im coming to accept it, so thats gotta be good right?

So sorry if Im a boring old housewife, but I'll keep posting I guess.:)

*betta just say, Im skinny in my own mind, no doubt thats debatable to all you skinny minny's out there, but I feel skinny to myself, cause you know I was a fat hefa at nearly 82kilos!!!!!!

Cutting back on food works, Im back to 67.5kilos and I love it:) Back to 2.5kilos to go...My inlaws are coming up in about 2 weeks, so I must stay focused and lose more weight, they will see a huge difference, last time they saw me I was 70kilos.

Ive been eating normally, to a certain degree but still eating chocolate which I love. Im afraid that is the one thing I won't give up! I have discovered Dark Choc Mand Ms..Yummo, go and try some today:)!!!

scales???

Don't really like the scales, I was meant to weigh in yesterday, I didn't, I chickened out, but I am going to weigh in this morning, I am 68kilos on the dot, so close to being under those stupid 68's its not funny, I will work really hard this week to be 67.? for next Sunday. I hate yo yoing all the time. I hate weighing all the time, I love the scales going down and I hate them going up. I will stick to Sunday weigh in for now, because now I have a number to work on that is pleasing. Tomorow I will not weigh in, in fact I will not weigh myself till next Sunday. A small challenge that I have never been able to win, but I will try this week.

I also want to get back into the weights this week and incidental exercise. Walking and moving a lot more. I haven't been wearing my pedo lately, so that will be clipped back on.

Lets see if I can finally get to my goal weight?

All is well

awwww, not as bad as I thought?????? Still a small gain, but Im still those stoopid 68's, but Im still gonna have a pass.

I think I really do like the way the shakes work with weightloss, but I know its not long term....I wonder if I committed to shakes for 2 weeks, what would happen?? Im hopeless at committing to anything so, I'll just go with the flow for now.

I have chocolate this week, and high sat fat, so I have to rectify this for the next week:)

I need to focus on exercise this week coming, cause my problem areas need toning, but Ive been saying that FOREVER, so I can either do 1 of 2 things

1-keep complaining about and carry on like I did in the start of this journey

OR

2- get moving and make myself proud again and prove to everyone I am not a flighty try hard weightlosser...

I like option #2

Have a great weekend:)

Passing on weigh in tomorow

Well seen as Ive lost the plot with the whole weight thing this week, I am passing on the weigh in tomorow, call it a cop out, it is, but my hubby is coming home after 3 weeks away and he will tell me how I look anyway:) So one pass in about, hmmm, 16months of this shit won't kill me huh!!!

so Im chickening out!!

16months so far on trying to get thinner, that means I have lost 800grams per month, 200grams a week. Is that right?? My god, that is pathetic.

Up and down, up and down

La la la la la this mornings weight a whole huge big 68.6kilos, and a prize for the fat pig, goes tooooooo ME!!!! Im fucking fantastic at this whole weightloss thing, totally gone off the rails, well not off the rails really, just don't know what the fuck Im doing. And whats more I obviously don't give a shit cause Ide be back on that treadmill that is sitting in the other room taking up space, Ide be counting points and giving a shit, Ide be taking Xantrax and Ide be having shakes. I don't know why I go through this shit constantly, its a lifestyle change and I just slip back so fucking easy into the way I was before....and I must say, it. is. PATHETIC. No other words for it.

So lets all guess, I bettcha $100 Im going to GAIN this week, the magic number I have to beat is 68.1...hmmm lets estimate......I reckon I'll be 68.8kilos this Saturday.

Stay tuned for the fat girls results.

Little miss piggy!!!!

Not much to tell today

Food
1 toast with vegemite
8 clix bickys
1 baby bel cheese
Chicken wrap thingy from kfc
lean mince, potato and extra light sour cream.

Not very good today, but I know why......I was 67.8 on the scale this morning, so, my track record is to think, yay, losing a bit I can become complacent. So stupid I know.

But you know what, Im not so obsessed anymore and that is a good thing, Im starting to feel OK about the weight thing, Im very close to goal and Im not putting a time limit on it, when I get there I know I will get there:)

Right-time to get serious

even if it is for today, one day at a time.



Food

Shake..(I know, but Im in a hurry this morning..)


Apple

Egg salad

coffee

Chicken satay- Lean Cuisine

water x 2litres...this is a huge challenge for Tafe as I don't drink any, so note to self today-DRINK IT WOMAN:)


Ok, end of day-Pretty good day really, food good, water...getting better:)

deleted the last post

It was all wrong, and Ive gone over in points...surprise surprise for the fatty!!!lol
Im blaming hormones, I can right?? Ha! Back into it tomorow, being outta the house and all for the day, so easy for me to keep on track when Im not bored shitless at home..Im a bored housewife...very bored.

I am really tired today and I get a headache everyday cause of the heat...yuck...I actually tried to have a lie down on the lounge, but as usual, the minute I relax the bloody phone rings, this is why I don't rest during the day.. that happens EVERY time I try and rest, go figure, mothers are not meant to stop during the day!!!

I hate exercise again. it didn't take much hey, those who know my history, of weightloss and gain...I HATE it with a passion, if I loved it like I hate it I would be one fit woman:) I love bikeriding tho, but with hubby away I can't go out and ride...he is back for the weekend and first on the list is a ride!!!!! I can't wait. I have realized I have not done anything for 3 weeks, just the odd weights and sit ups and push ups, is it any wonder I am stuck at the weight I am??? Ummm NO. Move and ye shall lose weight:)

I know this shit, so I refuse to complain and hate on my fat self. I am armed with all the info I need so go forth fat ass and do it:)...*smiles*

21 points today!!!

So, Im stuck at a number again...I remember a while ago, I was stuck at around 70kilos, couldn't budge from that, tried hard, but na, STUCK I tell ya!! NOW, it seems Im stuck around the 68kilos mark, so no worries, I will just go fully back on points and the weight has no choice but to go, right? That is the WW way, count points, move a little and viola, you lose???? So thats the plan...again....why try to fix what isn't broken?

I know I will get to goal, eventually, so Im not going to hate myself, (much) I'll just go with the flow, Ive been overweight forever so is my body just trying to hold onto what its got?? hehe.

A friend came over yesterday and she can't believe how much weight Ive lost!! what??? I still feel huge!!! I even contemplated joining WW, but I realize (1)- theres no point for just 3kilos and (2) they wouldn't allow it cause Im within healthy range, how funny!!! Im not happy with this range tho..

Food
cereal, coffee=3
fruit=1
potato+sweet chilli and ex light Sour cream=3
fruit=1
pasta dish.(high)
apple.=1

New week

Ive had my free day with chocolate and lamingtons.....yes i know, but Im paying for it now and I feel sick. I would love to actually listen to my body and NOT eat shit. It makes me sick, literally and because Im too arrogant at times, I can't help myself. I put it down to just plain stupidity.

Anyway, I feel sick and now I will have to put up with it til tomorow. I don't think the Shakes agreed with me either, I felt...just funny all week, I think it is not enough substance for me, Im basically a single mother at the moment, doing everything for 4 children, studying, and trying to keep myself together, I liked that fact that I never felt full and bloated and the weight did come off...(well sort of, 500grams off this week is the same as doing it with food) So I am doing points down to the letter this week and see how I go.

I am on 21 points a day according to this. I still am really annoyed with myself that I couldn't keep my weight under 68 this week, but whats done is done, so new week tomorow:)

Fuck this shit

68.1..what the fuck???? What the fuck happened to 67.5??? Im so pissed off its not funny, what the fuck do I have to do to get rid of this shit from my body?




Fucking annoyed and fucking over it.

scary weigh in tomorow!!!!

mmm hmmmm, scary I thinks, I was 67.8kilos...oh noooos thats UP 300grams!!!!!!
This isn't good is it???? Oh noooooooooooooooos Seee just when I think Im doing well and being cocky saying I have only 2.5kilos till 65kilos,,,this shit happens!!!

Now I don't want to weigh in!!! Just kidding...I am happy even with that weight cause it is a loss after all....and surely its only a matter of time to hit the 66's.........jumping for joy on that day!!!!! I give myself 2 more weeks at a minimum to get there!!!! It has helped that I have had a little bit of anxiety too tho...

My hubby is away and I am smaller and I like it, he will be in for a pleasent surprise I hope!!! I can focus a lot better when he isn't home!!!! Silly hey!

I have noticed something in myself tho, when ever I put a time limit, or a plan for a diet, or something of the like I always fuck it up and sabotage?? Is this cause I fear failure?? Like for eg, I wanted to lose the 2kilos b4 hubby got back, I went well for a while and then bang- fucked it up!!! I do this constanly, I like the way Im going now, no pressure for results, just doing one day at a time...

till tomorow:)

Going down..yay

Ha! I shouldda been doing shakes months ago!!! Im down to 67.5, wow, since Sat (68.6) I lost over 1kg, so Im happy with that! Even with a bit of naughty food yesterday. All good!

Food today
egg on toast
coffee
shake
banana
shake
coffee

Exercise
weights.

Day 3-Wedddnesdaaaaayyyyy

Good morning everyone!!

Morning weight...........67.7..least its working:)

Hmmm..Not sure if I like these shake things?? Im not hungry or anything but I just feel....um....I dunno...empty in a way? Light headed but not in a faintly sort of way? Not sure how to describe it? Moving on, its just something Im trying anyway..



So food today.

Egg and toast

coffee

banana

shake Chicken burger

muesli bar

diet coke

vegie soup Shake and garlic bread......(naughty)



A little more substance for when Im out at Tafe. My teacher and another student (a mature lady as well:)...) are on Tony Ferguson and they are doing well, maybe the Musashi Protein powder hasn't got as much in it?? dunno? I will only do shakes til Saturday and then I will do points next week, but I will have one shake per day, just so I can see whats gonna work and whats not...

Exercise
Push ups *done*
Sit ups *done*
Sqats *done*...(Ive been awake since 5am!)

Well I might be able to get my 2 rewards together??? Shoes and belly piercing?? Hmmm, Im a bit chicken now!!!(for the piercing!!)

Enjoy your day all:)

Well....... I ended up getting my belly done!!!! yayayayayayayay, didn't hurt very much, a little bit uncomfy, but OK, Ive got a nice purlpe stone, It looks yuk so I don't think I will take piccy's, I don't have a nice tummy, so I dunno, maybe I'll show it when I hit 65kilos! ?????

Day 2- weight-68kilos

Down 200grams already, and down 600grams since weig in!! WooHoo!
Maybe tomorow I will be in the 67's??

Day 2 and I had a great day yesterday so Im thinking today will be great too!



Food

Egg and toast

Coffee

Banana

Shake

Tuna

Shake



Im having the shakes a bit differently today, only cause Im out and I don't want to starve or run outta energy...lol



Im pretty positive I will be in the 67's this Saturday, I will weigh everyday and see my progress, or not, either way! I think I will do shakes one week and then points the next, cause how many times have you seen and heard that people have done TF or Herbalife and the minute they eat 'real' food again they pile the weight on??? Not me!! Taking it week about should be OK.



My hairdresser has been on Tony Ferguson and she lost a lot of weight, but she went off it over Xmas and put 5kilos on very quickly, surprise surprise!



I saw something a bit grose yesterday at the school, a mother came up to pick her kid up and she picked up her school bag and checked for the lunchbox, well she ate some grapes...ewww, these bags are outside!!! ewwww, She is a fattish lady too, it makes me sad to see really fat ladies, like this one, she is pretty large and I just feel sorry for her, you can see she even looks sad in her eyes, Im sure she's not happy with herself. I used to put on a brave face and pretend I was always happy and sure of myself, anyway, they have to help themselves hey?

Have a fantastic day!!!!

P.S- who is my visitor from Japan????

Shake Challenge- starting weight 68.2kilos

Well its not a challenge but it sounds good!!lol

Ok Start weight this morning 68.2, oooh so close to those bloody 67's it's not funny! grrr, I will get into them shorlty no doubt, but I like how Im looking and that is a great milestone, I have hated my figure for as long as I can remember, but I think Im looking pretty good in clothes now, its not like i have to be naked infront of anyone, (my husband doesn't count).

All I really need to achieve now is TONE, TONE, TONE!!! So Im starting Pilates, Ive got the dvds at home so when Cammy is in bed I will do one per day. I would love to go to the gym, but I will work with what Ive got!

Food today

Shake

Coffee

Banana

Shake

Kavli + Tuna

Lean Cuisine- Satay Chicken---Oh thats yummy hey!!

Coffee

Showing off...just a little:)

I found these jeans in my cupboard, shit and jesus, I wore these this time last year...eeeeewwwwwwww, they are a size 16 but a HUGE 16, an I thought I look OK...holy shit, well take a look at the photo a few posts back and you can see how fat I was, Disgusting fat pig, nothing else really can describe it! You can see my stretch marks too!! Thankfully Im posting to myself and not many of you have seen it!!

I actually can't believe they fit me?? I remember buying them and thinking they looked huge....well hello Emma YOU WERE...lol

(Scuse the bra, but I did cover the girls!!)

Shakes this week

Im gonna do the shake thing this week, only for a week to kick my ass a bit more, Free day today, I had a wicked dinner planned for the kids and it is a all time fave of mine to, my grandma used to make it whenever I went on Holidays with her!! Anyway, lets just say it is fat filled shit and I only make it once every 6months at least, whenever hubby is not here cause he hates it!!!!

So today's food

Toast-vegetmite and honey
coffee
pikelets, jam and lite cream
shake
Wicked dinner......

I am missing my bike rides too, I will put the bike on the trainer today at some stage???? Maybe???? I hate sitting in the one spot on the bike, but I hate this fat more, so I will make sure I do it. I have to have more of 500gram loss this week, 1kilo would be great, but Im not putting any pressure on myself either, what happens happens.

I know shakes are bad but for a week it won't kill me.

500grams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh No!!!!!I bloody new it tho!!! So Im still in the stupid 68's....68.6 to be exact, Ok so I went wrong this week by not exercising enough, so my mission this week is to MOVE, I need to get on that treadmill. Why isn't the weight coming off like it did when I was a real fattyy!!!!!!! Arrrgggggghhhhhhhhh....SO FRUSTRATING.

Anyway, onto another week:) put it past meself and keep going:)

My goals
#1-67kilos- belly piercing, yeah Ive wanted this done sine I was 74kilos, I actually went into the shop in town that does it and explained to the man that I was in the 'process' of losing weight and asked if I could get it done then or wait til I was a little smaller, and he said wait til I was smaller!!lol now, but I was a little embarasses at the time!

#2-66kilos-New outfit. Im pledging not to buy one piece of clothing again til that time:)

#3-65-Happiness.

Oh and Im not taking anymore photos till I hit those goals either.

Weigh in tomorow!!

I will have a gain of 500grams minimum. Now I don't know what I have done wrong this week? I have eaten decently, I haven't exercised enough, I know that, shit Ive lost my little pocket rocket, my motivator, she goneeeeeee!!! Sad really. Never mind, people come and go in my life and Im used to it:)

Well I tried, but I need a kick up the butt, a reshuffle, Ive been reading a lot about your body staying at a weight and its really hard to shift it again to move further down the scale?? I know I don't look yukky anymore, but Ide like to be a little less on the scale. Im only going for another few kilos??

I have an image in my mind of what I want, but my obsession has gone and my motivation is questionable, I can't blame having no time to exercise, I only have one child left at home and he sleeps for a min of 2-3hours a day, so thats perfect, my studies are taking no time at home yet, Im still insanly addicted to fucking chocolate, but now I don't eat a massive amount of the shit in one sitting! My challenge is off, I obviously don't have the disipline to pull it off, Im not giving up, but Im taking the pressure off myself and saving the dissapointment to myself and having everyone thinking, 'yeah thats right, shes a fat loser", but thanks to those of you who bothered to entertain me, I know I shouldn't need encouragement for me to achieve this, but its the same old story, it helps doesn't it! Maybe if I had a buddy to exercise with and share this horrid fat thing with? I guess if I joined WW or the like I would at least have people to share things with, hell if I had anyone around here would be great!

Anyway, I will weigh in the morning and try not to sulk!!!

Just to Humiliate myself a bit more- OH and Get a bucket, you are gonna need one!!!!

Photo #1 -1/1/07.................................................................................Photo#2- 1/1/08

Well yes, I have come a long way in One year!! O...M...G... Gawd, just with the hair alone!!!!! LOL!!

Now that, my dear friends is fucking grose and disgusting and just plain yuk!!!!

This is what Im talking about, only me in this post and the biggest loser in the last post. No one in bloggerland, I know a lot of lovely ladies that are battling the weight and I am NOT aiming anything at you guys OK! I can't say that enough

The Biggest Loser is loser TV

I cannot get into The Biggest Loser this year, now I know I will be shot down for saying this but they all make me sick!! They are sad to me, dare I say disgusting??? How can they let themselves get so big??? Im cringing at my 3kilos or so to go. Now I mean no disrespect to anyone out there, I myself have been huge, I have obese family members, so I know I should be more considerate, but Im really only speaking of the Biggest Loser, I can't warm to any of them, I don't like one person on there?? Except for Shannan, of course, and Michelles body is to die for and so is Jillians:) But that Shannan, MMMMMmmmmmm!!!!!

Again, I mean NO DISRESPECT to anyone, I am merely making a post on my blog, probably because I am feeling quite angry about different things at the moment, and I tend to say awful things, but really, lose the weight, I would be humiliated even going on that show, for the world to see what I had done to my body?? Stuffed it til it burst...grose...The women are that distorted, just ugly, and I have been there, I remember saying to my mum that I was getting ugly as I was getting older, little did I know it was all the FAT on my face and body...distortion. eeewwww. Not that Im claiming to be a beauty, but you know what Im saying yes?

So Im sorry if I have offended anyone, I don't mean to, Im not going to watch it for a while, they just look like fat, lazy, know they eat the wrong thing, and tooooo much of it kind of people. And I know this cause I speak from experience of seeing people in my OWN family like them.

The thing I remember vividly is hauling my fat self around and being unfit and grose myself, I remember when I was in bed, I really found it hard to roll over, now I bounce around the bed!!hehe Well Hubby even bounces me when he moves cause he is of fair size..I found it hard to get up off the lounge, I mean I was a size 18 ffs!! ewww..I'll track down a photo...

So from this photo you can see how big I was so I know I shouldn't complain, cause I have been there and I ate all the wrong food, I was lazy and I put on too much weight when I was pregnant. Here Cammy is only 4months old and I am carrying post preggy weight and thats why I sorta feel that I haven't lost that much weight, my normal weight is/was 73kilos, so really I have only lost 5kilos not 13kilos, cause the way I see it, that post baby weight comes off anyway?? Does that make sense?

Anyway Im pretty much rambling now, Im over my angry self now and Im dead tired!!

Night night.

its not working!!

Just when I think im doing well, bang, I fall flat on my face...Im heavier this morning and this has made me angry!! Im being good with food, Im moving, obviously not enough. My tummy is all bloated and YUK, how am I going to get my belly pierced looking like that! eww..sigh, sigh again...That was a goal for when I was 67kilos, but Im still tooooo fat!!!!!! And I can't seem to get any thinner??????????????????????

Im going for 65kilos now, I thought 63kilos, but I think thats outta the question, Im struggling enough to get past 68...again. I thought I had the drive and determination, but I think 65kilos will be low enough? Im 173cms so I can't expect to get to thin, Im going to look to drawn and old if Im too thin, cause you know, I only lose from my face and shoulders, the fat stomach is here to stay Im afraid. GROSE.

Had a very good day food wise

eggs and toast for breaky+ coffee

shake and a peach for lunch

coffee

rice and tuna patties for dinner

low in points so I think its ok, (the patties were cooked in yukky old oil) No more food tonight anyway:)

No exercise cause Im tired and can't be bothered...not good I know!

Don't really think I am in for much of a loss this week but its only Wednesday so we'll see I guess? But like I said before, whatever I lose the better:) Slow and steady and I will win the race...FOR SURE. Im not feeling any thinner but today I wore my skinny jeans!!! Last time I wore them was 5 flipping years ago, can you believe that!!! I kept them all this time cause I new how awesome and skinny I looked in them..not to sound up myself, but you know what its like when you finally get into something that makes you feel better!!! Actually they are loose in the legs and butt!! Yayayayayayayayy!!!

This photo is a lie actually, Im not that skinny looking its because it is on the side, but Hey, I like the look of it so its staying!!!!hehe, No I know how to cheer myself up when I am in fatty mode...lol

Wed-nesss-dayyy

Going well on my challenge, thanks for the kind vote of NO!!!! I won't make it...lol even if I don't lose 2 kilos I won't beat myself up, Im trying and thats the main thing:)

Food today
egg on toast, coffee
banana
shake
??
??
??
Not worked past that!

Normal exercise

Have a great day all!!

Great day!!

Food today

Toast and egg, coffee
salad and lentil patty
vegies and salmon patty:) (go the patties this week!)

Haven't had much today but I had Tafe so I don't eat a great deal cause Im too busy and engrossed!!

Exercise
weights
sit ups
sqauts
push ups.

Im trying to do as much incedental as I can too:)

2 kilo countdown continues:)

Day one-it begins

Day one is under way!
Food
cereal and coffee =3
banana=1
Toasted tuna, cheese, lettuce, onion and BBQ sauce sammich=6
vegies and lentil patties =4
Coffee-1
I'll be counting WW points..yeah I know boring, but it works!! So far Im up to 15, 3points to go!! I reckon Im on 18 points now, haven't go the luxury of breastfeeding and I was on 26points...yowzazzz, but I still lost weight. I haven't been on the tready yet, man it is proving to be a hard thing to get back on, but I will do my weights and other stuff after dinner..(i hope:))???


Exercise
sit ups
squats
push ups
arm weights
walk.

Will check in at end of day to make sure I did everything and ate what I should have.

Im raring to go and really want to lose 1kilo this week??????/ All I can do is try my hrdest and go from there, I know this is a lifestyle change and its a long road but I know I will get there eventually and get to a weight that Im happy with?? So what if my tummy is flabby, I have cellulite, and Im not toned like a body builder? Is it really the end of the world? No, not really. Im not doing this to compete in a title, or to snag me a new man!! Im doing this for myself and I have an image in my head of what I want and all I can do is strive to do the best I can:)

2 week challenge

I just went thru this on other blog but this is where I'll keep a check on myself

2 weeks to lose between 1.5 and 2kilos???

How I will do this
1- eat healthy
2- maybe have a few shakes to replace a few dinners
3-I think I will take my Xantrax on Tafe days so I don't get as hungry to
4- treadmill
5-water, and lots of it

So are you with me peoples??? I need all the support I can get, Ive lost the plot a little with this weightloss thing of late!! But Im determined to be thinner when my husband gets back!!

Weigh in day!

22nd Jan 08

9th Feb 08

At least its a loss, 900grams this week, so Im 68.1kilos now. Oh the frustration of the same shape, I can see I need some professional training help and Im sure they could whip my shape around to a more toned look, but alas, I can't afford the money or the time for the gym. well, yes the time I could I guess, but I'll just have to persevere at home. I love bike riding, but hubby is going away for work tomorow, so I will have to put my bike on the trainer and I hate that! It is boring and just drowns on and on...

Im not having a free day today, Ive had different treats through the week and I will just keep going!

Food today

Coffee

cereal

fruit

??

My measurements haven't changed much either

Bust-93cm, minus 1cm

Waist-83cm, minus 1cm

Hips-101cms, same

5.1kilos to go!!!

Im aiming for 63kilos:)

So the scales are heading down again. Thank fuck! I am 400grams off what I was 2 weeks ago and Im happy with that, notice Im not telling anyone what I weigh or how much Im losing???? Not sure if thats a good thing or bad???? hehehe. I have had a coffee and a cupcake all day so far and after the cupcake I felt sick, so serves meself right, that is NOT the right food to have...Shake for lunch and chicken strifry for dinner...all gooD

Exercise for the day
bike ride
arm weights
sit ups
squats
push ups.

I would really love to go to the gym and get a weight regime happening but that ain't gonna happen..shame hey! No matter, I will do what I can at home and Im sure thats better than nothing!

Facing the music in the morning...

Well Im facing the scales in the morning, I know I will have a bloody gain, but really lots has been happening and Ive been off a little....no excuse I know, but anyway.

Ive just been reading a few of my bloggerery bloggers and hell, some are going off in the weights and gym department!!! Really all I need to do if I feel like slipping is read them! Motivation plus!! Lovin it:)

We went for a ride this arvo and it really killed us both! I couldn't push my legs at ALL..I only burned 157cals, but it is better than nothing. We had Maccas for lunch..I KNOW!!!! terrible huh! Well I hadn't had burgers for ages so thats my excuse and Im sticking to it:)

I made Sushi for dinner, my new absolute LOVE, I can't believe I hated it so much before..hmmm silly!

Biggest Loser has started tonight and I love it to!! Lots of love tonight, which is a nice change thats for sure!!! Shannon is sooooo soooooo hot, I love him and his arms and his body and his voive and his...oh the list is endless, if I was younger and in Sydney I would have to chase him down!!!

Well til tomorow, Im not telling you all my weight and Im not taking photos, cause I look the same and theres no point showing off the same thing over and over again, but I will say I went to the beach today and didn't wear my bikini top...not good...

Saturday NOT weigh in

Well I didn't weigh in this morning, Ive stepped back a bit on my whole obsession with the scales and the food and the diary I keep documenting everything, Ive been good and Im still riding, but I need to get remotivated a bit more, Ive had some stuff to deal with lately, but I think Im under control again.

I did a bike ride and a walk yesterday followed by weights and sit ups and squats, I burned about 350cals..(I think from memory, I can't be bothered to get my book!!) And Im riding this arvo after dinner. (we eat at 5.30pm cause of the little ones!)

So I will weigh in on Monday?? Not sure, when ever I feel like it I think!

Im not counting points or doing Cal King, or shakes or Xantrax, nuthin, I need to find a regime that is new and refreshing cause Ive gone a bit stale, with exercise to, I love riding so that is a start. Im over the treadmill just for the moment,which is a shame, but no doubt I'll get back into it once I settle all down again.

Not good

oh dear, a slip, losing a child to 'big school' and tom isn't doing very well for my diet today!! Ive eaten a few badies today...and NO bike ride,,Im annoyed about that the most, thats for sure, I will be going in the morning, with or without the husband. He gets a bit lazy sometimes and then other times he's all for it and pushing me out the door, can't keep up!!

Isn't it amazing how you can go great guns and then BANG, something just slips and you fall back, dare I say 'off the wagon', man, I have said it before, Im so sick of this battle, its so easy in theory, eat healthy clean food, nothing processed, or out of a packet, drink plenty of water, blah fucking blah, sick of hearing it, sick of reading it, yada yada yada!! Ive finished the Susan Powter book, well nearly and she has some valid points maybe, Im yet to try them, but the thought of eating heaps of the good stuff even raises red flags to me?? She is telling me to work at my intensity level and everything will just 'follow' hmmm, im undecided on that one to, I would think I would need to go like a bat outta hell and work up a huge sweat to make a difference. Ive done that and thats when I found some shape in this body of mine!!

She also says enjoy the 'process', hmm again, not liking that point, I don't want to know myself fat and unfit, but I do regret not taking a photo in my bikini at 81kilos!! Imagine that!

oh I wish I wish I wish I hadda!! I think that's what she means tho, embrace the changes and really revell in them, like really remember when you were at your heaviest and remember you don't want to be there again? I know I certainly won't ever be 80+kilos again.

They say you need to visualize yourself where you want to be, hmm again, Im having trouble with this one, I want to see myself thin and slim and no tummy, another thing she mentions that I enjoyed reading, the stomach- she says, (Susan), that of course you can train the muscles underneath, but you need to lose all the fat before you can see them, well yes I realize this, but she says..I'll just go and find it...

Quote

that stuff hanging off your stomach is fat. The only thing that is going to burn that fat off your stomach and the rest of your body is aerobic activity. It will burn off- ..there is no way on earth that you will sill have fat hanging from your stomach at 15, 17, 19- 20% body fat, have increased your lean muscle mass and are lean and strong and healthy. Think about it. Are you going to be lean everywhere but your stomach? Nope, not possible. It will burn off your stomach just the way it burns off everywhere else.

So that was from her book and yes I have some hope that she is telling the truth, but that flies out the window when I eat crap and then feel sorry for myself, this I find pathetic, so I will put it behind me and move forward and concentrate on the new day in the morning and keep going just as everyone else has to:)

the end *poking tounge!*hehe

my baby is off to school!!!

Well my second littleist baby is off, she is so excited and all ready to go!! How exciting, I will only have one more at home!!!! yayayayayayayayayayayayay!!lol
Bag is packed, lunch is packed and we are waiting to leave, well in about an hours time!!! Can't wait, she was nervous last night and couldn't get to sleep but she managed ok!!

So not much else at the moment, teenager is back and causing trouble all ready, little shit pierced his ear and we have told him to take it out, but he is so disrespectful he is refusing, makes me sick and Ive really had enough, oh well, such is life with a teenager!

So we didn't get top go ridering yesterday, hubby was away for a bloody 6hour ride, he didn't mean to go for that long(???) so we are going today and it will be without Mikayla!! Weird! I guess it will take a bit to get used to, but I will!!

So everything is still crossed for the job, I really hope she can accomodate me with the hours, just for a while, would be nice, not that I really want to be a shit kicking apprentice, but I guess ya gotta do what ya gotta do!!! hope hope hope!!!! maybe its my turn??????????

The beach

The beach is the best, really!! the kids love it and I love it too, although it was low tide and I didn't swim this morning, I was happy to just stay at the edge with Cam, we went yesterday and he nearly drowned and I can't get the image outta my head. Horrible, he didn't drown, drown, just lost his balance and was floating on his back going under and trying to get up, hubby and I were about a metre away, scary stuff. He got over it well and had a cry, but still its awful.

We are riding this arvo, I hope, thats the plan, but hubby has gone for a motorbike ride this morning and if I know him, he will be tired and will want a nanna nap this arvo, But being the persistant bitch that I am I will pester til we go!!!

Ive been having shakes for 2 meals a day, one healthy meal at night and 2 fruit snacks in the day. Seems to be going OK so far. I really want to get outta the 67-68's so I hope this is the kick in the ass I need! It all helps Im sure. I just hope the bike riding is good enough cardio, I think it is, plus I have the dreadmill to I guess, Im just over it at the moment:)

Anyway, I have a pile of books to cover and some housework to do so Im off to have my daily fix of reading and then I have to so something!!

Have a great day everyone:)

Bike ridering!!

Bike riding is my new thing!!! We went for 2 rides yesterday, the first one was 25mins and I only burned 113 cals, better than nothing I reckon, but the 2nd one, later in the arvo, after the big lunch!! was 50mins and I burned 256cals. That was a lot better and we are going to do it again today. I like bike riding so much better than the tready to, its getting a tad boring!!

So today is a light day food wise and Im having shakes for a little booster instead of food, every second day or so, jump start again cause I seem to be stuck in between 67 and 69kilos at the moment and that has to change!!

Im just making little changes here and there to shake things up as it were, hence the new blog and stuff.

Im a lot more positve and I think that really is the key to success.

I really hope I hear from the Manager this week coming cause I would really love that job?????

Cross everything and then cross it again!!

OK, we did a 45min ride and I burnt 311 cals, thats awesome:)

All I have left now todo is sit ups, squats and weights, I will do them tonight. Shake for dinner as we had lovely prawn sammiches for lunch. YUM...

Im off to get Nic from the train now....

Weigh In

Im back already, didn't take long I know, couldn't keep away. New Blog, new challenges, new everything, especially the attitude!!

Weigh in today

I lost 400grams!!

Excellent:) Im happy with that.

Australia Day today and we took the family up to the Tavern for lunch and I had Chicken Parmy and only ate half of it!!! Woo Hoo:)

Happy today.

I also had a creme filled egg this arvo..oh yum:)